


Over And Over

by Charlie9646



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Cheating, F/M, Infidelity, Morally Grey Characters, Post War, Severus Snape Lives, Sex, Smut, lying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:03:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22991422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie9646/pseuds/Charlie9646
Summary: They shouldn't be doing this; they had been doing this for months, and something just had to give— just not what they wanted to.Why don't you just stay? He asked her.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 25
Kudos: 57
Collections: Hermione's Haven Bingo 2020





	Over And Over

”The biggest problem is: I still care.”

Severus Snape did not know why they had started this, though he knew they should just end it. And yet he didn't. Severus couldn't. He wouldn't. How could he give up the worst and best thing that had ever happened to him? There was a darkness to what they would doing, but also a thrill; someone might find out. Maybe they should, though.

If that happened, would it change everything? Would she choose him? Or the Weasley? She had children with the man that was the whole reason Hermione claimed they must sneak for the children, but it felt like some sort of mockery of courtly love.

And yet he was waiting at a muggle restaurant for her. Hermione Jean a drug of choice he had not realized he was choosing. Or maybe he had realized he was, but whatever it was, she had snared him in— and if Severus could do it again, he would happily be put under the same spell.

Hermione kissed him when she reached the table; her lips tasted like strawberries, and he could not get enough. His hand tangled in her wild hair, and hers brushed against his cheek and went to the nape of his neck. She pulled away from and whispered, ”I love you, Severus.”

He did not say anything for a second, Severus bit his thin lip.

”Severus?”

”Sorry, ” he then coughed,” Hermione, I love you too.”

He stared at her, her intelligent brown eyes, her curly hair was twisted out of her face. She looked over her menu at him and smiled. He cocked his head at her and gave her a small smile. They ordered their meals when the waitress came by; he barely paid attention to what he had ordered. Food was food for better or worse. The wine, though— was another story.

They talked about her work in the ministry, about the small potion’s shop he ran. About laws neither hoped would be passed. They didn't dare talk about anything significant. Not about her children and not about his feelings on her choice to stay with Ronald Weasley.

The way the candlelight reflected on her face, the small smile that painted across her lips, the way her hand felt in his. The tiny narrow fingers, how soft they were, it felt like coming home— like belonging.

Severus took a sip of his glass of red wine and placed his napkin on the table. The bill was paid quickly, and he asked Hermione, ”Are you coming home with me or not?”

She sighed at him, ”Severus, that's a rude way to ask such a thing.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, Severus wasn't interested in playing this emotional game no matter how much he enjoyed the reward for playing. Hermione. In his life, in his bed, her laughter, her joy, her everything, though that was not true if he had to share her. With Weasley.

”I am sorry, Hermione, ” Severus muttered. He did not mean it, though; he indeed did not expect it. Maybe it made him a bad person. There were a hundred different things he had done, was doing and would do that made him a bad person, though that mostly had to do with being with a married woman.

She took his hand into her own, ”Severus, yes, I do want to go home with you.”

**********************

Hermione did not know why she was doing this, why she wanted him. Severus was not the man of her dreams, but the truth was neither was Ronald Weasley. She did not know who the man of her dreams was or even if he existed at all. Ron was great with their children, taking them to parks, being there on Christmas morning as they tore into their presents with only the enthusiasm that only young children could muster.

But, he did not make skin warm with the heat of desire. Hermione felt no urge to take him to bed anymore. They hadn't had sex in six months, six bloody months— when she reunited with Severus Snape, of all people.

He wasn't the man of anyone’s dreams, or at least she thought that. Hermione fell for Snape because he listened. Maybe it was because he enjoyed for whatever reason to listen to her ramble on about work, about books, about the odd forms of magic that she had worked on. Ron would never do such a thing.

They started to go out to dinner as friends; they were an odd pair, sitting there in a quiet muggle diner. Severus had a snarky dry sense of humor. She was not going to lie; he was crusty and pushy. He had a cruelty to his nature, a right and wrong straight view of the world. They sat they're arguing about whether former death eaters should be treated. She thought they should be scrutinized, and they should always be on the radar of the ministry— even though their master was dead.

He had said to her something that struck her, ”Without Voldemort Lucius Malfoy would have just been a politician, a thorn in the pro muggle government side, but nothing else. Without his father, Draco would have only been a bully with a smart mouth. The rest of them were not worthy of mentioning, though the genuinely destructive ones are locked up or dead.”

Hermione took a sip of her milkshake and stared a the man with the too-long hair, dressed in a black muggle shirt and trousers. He looked like an alien from another planet sitting on the bright red seat. Severus had streaks of grey in his jet black hair, even so, looked younger now— even with bright red raised scars on his throat than he had ever as her teacher. As if a weight had been lifted off his shoulder, and in a way it had.

Hermione, too, wanted the weight lifted off her own shoulders; she desired to do something wrong but might feel so good.

”What about you?” Hermione asked him, ”Are you dangerous, Severus?”

”Only if you want me to be.”

If she didn't know any better, she would swear the his snow-white pale ears turned red.

*********************

Hermione chucked her boots at the wall; she stood on the tip of her toes and kissed the most infuriating man she had ever met in her life. And for whatever insanity had brought them together— he kissed her back. His piano fingers tugged down the zipper of her dress; hers went to the zipper of his trousers.

They did quick work of their clothes of people who had done this before and would do it again. They stumbled to his bed. His hand felt like a burning fire resting on her hip; she wanted him. Damn, what was right and wrong. Damn it all.

He was on top of her, and then inside of her. He paid attention to her, touching her, kissing her, he acted as if she was some sort of great treasure— a hand on her breast, pinching her nipple until it peaked. It caused Hermione to cry out. Her hands tangled in his hair. She was close, far too close.

And then she was gone.

*********************

Severus knew what was going to happen next he— the same as it always did. He did not care, not one single bit. Hermione sat on the edge of the bed, tugging on her clothes, working her fingers through her curls, and mentally shutting him out.

”You could stay, ” he whispered to her. ”Just for the night.”

”Severus... You know I can't.” Said Hermione, staring at the wall in front of her. ”It’s not because I love him. It's not because I think he would even care. I have Rose and Hugo to think of. We can go out to dinner this weekend. And when the kids graduate Hogwarts, you know things will change.”

”You and I both know that's not true.” Severus said his tone dismissive and uncomfortable. ”I think you should decide what you want to do. Whether it's be with me or be with him. I am tired of being your afterthought.”

”He’s my afterthought as well, Severus! My first thought has and will always be my children. It would hurt them. They wouldn't understand.”

Severus snapped, ”Do not take me for a fool, Hermione, I taught children while you were still in diapers. They may or may not understand, but that matters little. I would bet anything it has nothing to do with your children and worrying about what others think of you.”

Hermione spun to face him sharply as if she were some sort of crazed cat, ”That's rich coming from you, Severus. The man who spent a lifetime insisting that he did what he did for a life debt, then when the world found out, that was a lie, and you spin another tale about Lily Potter.

Which, you have insisted to me that was false— that she was just your friend! So what is it, Severus? What is the truth, and what is the lie? What is the foolishness? If you want to talk about what I have done and have not done, and maybe or may not do? We should look too at your life, Severus. Because the truth is neither of us are saints— we are both liars. We are both fools. To judge me, Severus Snape is to judge yourself!”

”Mrs. Weasley, I guess we have come to an impasse of sorts. I think you should go, and we should reevaluate whatever this is!”

Severus turned away from her, pretending as if Hermione wasn't there.

***************************

Hermione walked out of that bedroom, pulled on her boots, and tried her best to forget the man in the other room. They both were right, and they both were wrong. They both were doing something that was hurting the other. Hermione did not want to leave the comfort that was her marriage.

She did not want to leave the safety that was being Mrs. Weasley. Maybe that made her a horrible person. Perhaps that made Severus right. It had little to do with Ronald, and everything to do with everything else. Harry would never look at her same if he found out she was cheating on his best friend. The other Weasleys would likely press that she never see her kids again. They were the Weasleys— Arthur and Molly married for nearly a lifetime, Harry and Ginny the next-generation version of it, and all the others.

Ron and Hermione, on the other hand— we're the cracked version of what it meant to be a Weasley. They were squeaky wheel version. They were the couple falling apart for decades, but neither seemed to want to end it.

And then she met Severus.

She should not have gone on dates with him. She should not have gone to bed with him, but Hermione did, and now it was time to pay the piper. She could walk back in that bedroom, tell him she was going to break up with Ron. But she did not.

Hermione walked out of Severus’s small cottage and did not look back. As much as she wanted to stay— she could not.

”Because this is my life. And that's the only explanation you need.”


End file.
